I am writing after a reallylong time and iwas forced to write because i just had to get these feelings out of my system,otherwise i would burst. Though the whole world might remember september 11 for the world trade centre attacks,from 2005 on it will be more significant for me in the sense that my grandpa died on this day.It was the most ironic day in my life and the saddest day as far as i can remember. I felt as if a part of me died that day. I am not of the expressive type,i am the kind of guy who keeps his deepest feelings inside. All i can say is there are very few people in this world who i really love and care about a lot and my grandpa was one among them,and i never expressed it to anyone ,not even my grandpa himself on his last days. My heart feels really heavy just to know that he does not exist anymore. Its sort of surreal,after all these years its so hard to believe that he does not exist,i can not see him,feel him,hear him anymore. I had taken it for granted that whenever i go to Harihar i will see grandpa,but now its hard to digest it won't be so anymore.

Its so ironic that he was in the hospital for 1 week and kept asking for me and the day i met him and left,hours later he died,it was as if he was just holding on to see me before he left.
Also the last words we exchanged added to the irony.
Though i try to console myself with some philosphy it doesn't last long,the pain of loosing something close to you resurfaces.I will miss you a lot,grandpa,i will miss you ....