Nostalgia!

Nostalgia is a strange emotion,you go through a range of emotions at the same time,its like sadness,happiness combined together.You feel happy,yet at the same time you feel sad.

I am in the balcony right now sitting on a high stool with a backrest with feet swung over the balcony railings.The night sky is clear with stars twinkling.There is a three fourth moon at an angle of 45 degrees in the sky.There is a cool breeze blowing which kisses my exposed feet extended over the railings which makes me twitch my toes.I have my laptop on my ..where else, my lap and have the habit of shaking my legs as if I am restless.I have my ipod playing with the sennhiesers clung over my ears.I have put the ipod on random.

Madonna's 'the power of goodbye' comes sailing through.All of a sudden i go nostalgic.This song triggers something. Its like a flurry of random flash backs,my whole life.I remember my childhood friends,raichur krishna river,me,pranav,appa and amma on its banks,random trip moments,harihara,cousins,thatha,malleshwaram railway station,some hiking moments,harihara swing and garden,the fun times during ganesha festival,saibaba darshans with doddappa on sunday mornings,lalbagh jogs... A smile comes to my face,yet at the same time my heart grows heavy. I go through the flurry of deaths Indira atte,ravi doddappa,nagraj doddappa,my friend,thatha...

All this happens in split seconds.My whole life flashes by in bits and pieces.I am amazed at what all i have stored in my brain. So this is what my last 26 years on this planet has been like. My eternal questions of philosophic porportions just crop up.

The songs goes on in the background ..

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no

There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye

...

Somehow all the 'Good-byes' in the song triggered off this line of thought .. LIFE..